The Relationship That Forced Me to Change My Identity and Life Forever

What makes me write this experience is that to tell those who are out there that it is possible to get out of an abusive relationship.

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For many years, I was abusive by someone very close to me, my husband. I eventually had to change my identity so that once I run always and got rid of him, I was ensured of safety and also I could continue with a normal life. An abusive relationship is something that no one would want to go through, whether it with your friend, your parents, close relatives or even partner.

I fell in love with a man who I thought would be the love of my life. When we met he was very charming, and he treated me like the princess I was. I was fresh out of high school and did not have much to support myself on my own. So when I met this caring man who promised to care of me and provide for me, I was sure of a happy future. As we started to court, we grew closer and within the first two years I got pregnant, although we were not financially stable, we were still managing well.


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My husband, although we were not married, was working as we had our first born. Everything was okay, and we were climbing up the ladder of life. A few years later I had our second child, and that’s when he drastically changed. By this time, he had gotten a better job so we had moved to a more stable house that could support a family.

My love started becoming a quiet man, he would not be interactive and lively as he was with me after we met. We would fight at home, argue a lot and there is that one day that it began, he struck me on my face. I could not believe it. Although he apologized for it, I never forgave him. As I was pregnant with our third child, he becomes more violent. Once as we were in the bedroom, I confronted him about a woman I saw him getting very comfortable with, I could not believe it, and he started hitting me immediately. He threw punches aimlessly towards me, hurting me at each hit, and he also hit my unborn child, endangering her life. This caused me to give birth prematurely, resulting to my child getting asthma.

After giving birth, the violence and beatings increased, I would get hit for not making supper on time, or not ironing his clothes well. My life become a horror, and that’s when decided to run away and change my identity. I called my brother one night told him everything, and he helped me to take my children and run away. Currently, I am living alone as a single mother, with a changed name and a changed life.

I do not know what has become of that man, but what I know is that I am much way better off without him in my life. I never regret the step that I took off running away.

Sources:

http://www.nytimes.com/1998/03/17/science/personal-health-planning-to-escape-from-an-abusive-relationship.html

http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/01/20/a-risk-in-caring-for-abusive-parents/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0

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