We’ve all heard that all too familiar story where you meet someone, end up really liking them to the point of entering a relationship with them, maybe even going as far as to move in with them; everything is going gravy and everyone is happy.
Until the day your partner, or the person whom you thought was your partner turns out to be a complete psychopath and begins to physically and/or mentally abuse you.
This happens all too often, maybe you know someone who’s been in an abusive relationship, or you have been in one yourself, either way, most people aren’t strangers to such a situation. It is a growing problem in our current society. One study even states that over 70% of domestic abuse cases aren’t even reported and the abused just continue to deal with it; which is completely unacceptable.
Today we will give you some tips to help guide you out of an abusive relationship safely.
The first thing you’re going to want to do is secure any and every device you are using to plan your escape. There’s no point in planning anything if your abuser can simply look through your browsing history and figure out what you’re doing. This means changing passwords on everything from your computing devices to your social media accounts as well as using private browsing and deleting browser history so that the abuser stays out of the loop.
The second thing you’re going to want to do is find yourself a place to live. Talk to your close friends and family to see who can put you up, or if you have the money to rent a place on your own, that would work too. The point is to get out of the shared location with the abusive partner as soon as possible. You can also ask to pick up more hours at your place of employment to help speed up the process and keep your distance while you remain in the abusive situation.
The next thing you can do is change your mailing address for all of the services that you use. Either get a post office box or you can ask a friend or family member to let you use their address. It’s best to be thorough with this task so that you aren’t mailing anything important to the abusers location after moving.
Getting rid of anything you don’t need is also a very good step to take. If you’re able to cut most of the fat out of your possessions then it’ll make the physical portion of your get-away that much easier. As an added benefit, selling said possessions will give you an extra monetary boost, which will make your move easier in a financial sense as well. You can gradually move any remaining possessions to your new location before actually making the move.
Close all joint or shared accounts. Such accounts are only going to bring you headaches and may be used as leverage against you by an abusive partner. Open single accounts for everything you need instead. Please note that this needs to be done immediately after you move as not to set off any alarms and alert the partner before you can escape, but not so late that they’ve already wised up and are using them against you.
If abuse is experienced during the remainder of your stay then you can take photos of any evidence and get a restraining order.
Depending on the severity of the abuse and how much the person knows about you, it can sometimes be recommended to change your identity by changing your social security number and going by an alias. Changing your phone number can also be recommended.
Okay, so the fateful day has come and you’re ready to make your move! Make sure to time it around their work schedule. Do it when you know they aren’t around for several hours. This will give you time to move your things as well as recover anything that may have been forgotten (unlikely since you’ve been planning so well).
After you’ve successfully moved, you can request a change in schedule at your job (explain the reasoning) so they don’t show up at your usual scheduled shifts and cause problems for you. Take a different route to work frequently as well.
Congratulations! You’re now a free independent person who’s escaped the treacherous journey of an abusive relationship. Just pay attention who you get with next time, okay?